Speechless…

My Silent Sabbatical was… how shall we say? Speechless.  Yea, that’d be it.  Here I spent much time savoring every moment just to share every juicy detail with you, but…. what can I say?  It’s just too much information.  What I can tell you was that it was AMAZING.  POWERFUL. And even… LIBERATING.

For someone who thought she would have no time to indulge in 24 hours of silence, made sure she took care of all the necessities prior to this adventure.

Oh you probably think by necessities, I mean like making sure my family was set, meals planned, laundry done? Um… not exactly.  I mean the necessities to better captivate my first Silent Sabbatical experience. Selfish you say?  You betchya.  That is what a sabbatical is all about isn’t it?

I was sure to plan a 90 minute massage the night before… pedied my toes, filed my nails and got a much needed haircut.  Please!  There’s nothing like staring at a harboring of winters hibernated and neglected toes via Downward Facing Dog without some kind of distraction!

Oh and it was worth it.  Yes… I actually spent a full 24 hours in silence.  Hubby thought I needed more.  Hmmm… wonder why?

Booked my B&B.  Shut out any and all distractions… no people, no conversation, no TV, no reading, no music, no phone… no nothin’.  Just me and yoga, meditation, prayer and much, much journaling.

Thank you O keyboard for allowing me to form words under my fingertips so quickly and easily… my cramped writing hand is very grateful and you were very missed.

My experience was melodic as I dove into the repeated cycle of yoga, meditation and journaling being sure to never look back, never re-read and definitely not to edit my long string of thoughts.

Know what the highlight of my experience was?  Breakfast.  Sure there were many highlights and defining moments, but breakfast was way up there! The Innkeeper, kind enough to make arrangements with me for breakfast, quietly knocked on the door and left my breakfast door-side.  See, I assumed she was going out of her way for me and breakfast would simply be a plate of some food, a poured cup of coffee and by time she reached the top of the third floor it would be cold and I was okay with that.  But something else appeared before my very eyes… presentation! Warmth. Compassion. Beauty.  Right before my very eyes was the most beautiful and thoughtful breakfast anyone has ever brought me.  Everything delectably presented in it’s own special bowl or plate.  Little cut-out shaped butter, cloth napkins, a flower in a vase, a little handwritten note to me…and the colors! From eggs, to fruit to muffins…each its own display of rich colors, A N D…. a HUGE vat of piping hot coffee just for me!  I had to fight every urge not to pull out my cellphone and take a picture.  Instead I stared at its beauty and downloaded it into my brain for future reference.

Yes, the food was good and she did a huge favor for me in bringing it, but what was the most touching, is that it made me feel worthy of it.  It encompassed and sealed the sabbatical with the very intention of its purpose.  It made me feel like a special little girl sitting in her bedroom up high on the top floor of her mansion house, being nurtured, taken care of and put back together because I was worth it.  It wasn’t about what anyone said.  It was an energy transaction of something I created on deeper level.

This sabbatical confirmed what I teach, what I know and what I believe.  We truly do have all the answers deep inside us. The very mind-chatter everyone is trying to break free from… was the very anecdote to cure my decision paralysis.  When done correctly and used in the right environment, a Silent Sabbatical really is the best medicine to O.D. on for 24 hours.

Massage Etiquette 101…

As post Massage Therapist and Shiatsu Practitioner, I have waited YEARS to write a simple “How to Receive a Massage” book or how about “How to Receive a Massage for Dummies!”

spa_massage_mastheadYou may laugh, but this is serious.  Seeing and touching many bodies over the years surprises me till this day how many people really and truly do not know how to receive a massage…so if you currently are a body-worker and in the field… you can thank me for sharing this bit of information that you may even want to refer to your clients who need the refresher.  Let me be the bad guy who gives it to them straight.  Those of you who are simply receivers… pull up a chair, get comfy… I may just be talking about YOU!

This is not to bash the innocent client, but more of …shall we say… Massage Etiquette for the client who really does not know what to expect.

Let me just say this first – there are many of you out there that would love a good massage on a daily basis.  I tend to be one of those “touch me, rub me junkies’ who falls into a vast relaxation as soon as someone lays there hands on me.  But for many this is quite the invasive approach that can be very unsettling and nerve racking to be touched in the slightest of ways.  If you are one of those people, maybe massage is not the answer for you.  You’re better off starting slowly with say a pedicure foot massage, manicure hand massage or chair massage with clothes on to try on for size.

It often happens in this business that people give gift certificates of massage to someone who has never experienced one before and I can out rightly say… this may be the best gift for you, but for them?  Not.  Because you are putting them in a very awkward position, not to mention awkward because their clothes are off AND not to mention a rather pricey gift to say the least that makes them feel guilty enough to just suck it up and go.

As Holidays approach, know the person you are giving this massage gift certificate to and ask yourself… is this what I want or what they want?

Here we go…

When the massage therapist walks you to the room where bodywork will take place, it is here that conversation begins and ENDS.  It is here that you are clear what kind of massage you are getting, which direction you should be facing (face-up or face-down), where you mention your aches, pains, injuries, that have you… if you have any allergies AND if there is a specific part of the body that you do NOT want touched, as well as the pressure (hard or soft) that you like.  Just get it all out in the open so the air is clear.  I know many clients need tissues around because their nose runs or their feet tickle or they have an injury that shouldn’t be touched or if they are pregnant.  You must let the therapist know up front.

Alas, the therapist leaves… in hopes they are washing their hands before they touch you!  In this ample time, you get undressed leaving clothes either on a hook or chair and you slide UNDER the covers in which ever direction they tell you.  If you forget… don’t worry it’s easy to tell.  If the round doughnut hole thingy at the top of the bed is present, they want you face down with your face in the hole.  If not, lie face up.

Underwear on or Underwear off? Let’s just get right to the point, shall we?  Again for the person who does not receive regularly, this is a huge question for both men and women.  The answer.  Doesn’t matter.  Either way works.  We won’t think you’re prude if you leave them on and we won’t think you’re racy if you don’t.  I will tell you this, though… chances are if underwear is off, there’s a good chance that it’s an invitation to have your bum rubbed.  Let’s just be clear here, unless told upfront, the only areas off limits are the private ones, the rest is up for grabs… well… you know what I mean… it’s up for massage.  That means the entire back, shoulders, sides of torso, bum, legs, arms, feet, chest, fingers, neck, face, ears and even scalp!  Did I miss anything?  Now I know what you’re thinking… I mentioned bum and that’s supposed to be considered the “private zone”.  Private as it may be, this area is often touched with the blanket or sheets on and usually the partial cheek is rubbed skin to skin.  Might I add… this feels really GOOD!  The bum hold LOTS of tension and can effect all the muscles in the low back, so if you’re complaining your low back hurts… hint, hint.. this just may be where your tension lies!  Oh and ladies… you gotta remove the bra too!  I tried to accommodate a client once and let’s just say she eventually gave in and broke free so that she was able to enjoy it more!

With all this chatter about underwear and private parts… let it be known that this is a very respectable business and therapist take great pride in their sheet/blanket maneuvering techniques so that your body will never fully be exposed with private parts getting drafty.  That being said…. let’s move on to the DO‘s and DONT‘s of massage…

DON’T MOVE– Your job as the “receiver” is to do just that… RECEIVE!  Your job is to lie there and do absolutely nothing.  That means we do not need you to pick your arms and legs up to move them unless told to turn over.  We do not need you to move your head from side to side.  We do not need you to give us each individual finger when your hands are being massaged.  Please don’t support your legs and arms causing more tension then necessary.  We like you to be limp, dead body weight… just receive.

DON‘T TALK – I’m not being literal here.  You can definitely speak up if something bothers you, you need to shift, more pressure, less pressure, but please don’t bring up your “to-do” list of responsibilities during the massage…  How it pains you to see your in-laws over the Holidays or the great sale at Macy’s over the weekend.  This is the quiet zone and if you think your massage therapist is just being rude for not conversing back to you – think again.  We are trained to let you fully receive in the best possible way and most comfortable way we know how.  If you as the client are talking, that is telling us you are not relaxed, and if you are not relaxed, then we are not doing our job properly.  Shhhh….

DO BE CLEAN – Please, please come to a massage clean.  That doesn’t mean you have to shower before you come, but there are many people that find coming straight from the gym after a sweaty workout to hop on the table for a massage sounds great, and it may feel great, but trust me it doesn’t smell great.  This doesn’t happen often, but it has happened.

DO CLOSE YOUR EYES – There’s nothing worse than trying to relax someone who is staring back at you.  It’s uncomfortable for the giver and the receiver.  The point of massage is to relax and the therapeutic benefits that come from a relaxed body are endless.  Keeping the eyes open is equivalent to talking.  It just means you are not relaxed and uncomfortable.  Trust.  Close your eyes… let loose and give your body a chance to feel.  If you fall asleep… that’s okay.  The perfect zone is that “in between” state of mind or “Twilight” sleep where you can feel the therapist working around you, but it almost feels as if their energy is everywhere and you zone in and out of sleep.  If you snore… don’t worry, we’re used it.   If it is still too uncomfortable to close your eyes… ask the therapist to place a light towel or lavender pillow over your eyes to help you relax.

In addition to staring… please don’t think your therapist is staring at you, judging you or picking you apart.  It is just the opposite!  Again, we are trained to give a supportive and nurturing touch to all that come.  Generally the type of person who goes into any type of body-work is usually of the nurturing kind.  One who wants to give, wants to relax you and make you feel comfortable.  We know that energy can be relayed in all forms, therefore if we are judging you, we know that energy would be picked up in the way our hands feel toward you.  It is not the type of atmosphere we would like to condone in our room, so rest assured that all is professional in such a sacred space.

DO BE GRATEFUL – it one thing to be grateful if the massage was out right awful, but chances are there are a lot of good body-workers out there that give much energy into every massage, day in and day out.  We are trained to do several bodies in a row with no breaks.  We give every massage our all and put much pressure and emphasis on ourselves to relax a client, aid in someones injury or even try to make those chronic aches and pains of yours go away.  There is nothing worse than giving 110% to a client, who you know is completely relaxed and just gets up and walks out without saying a word.

What to expect…

  • Expect that most of your body is going to be touched in some fashion excluding the private zones or areas that you already pre-requested are off limits.
  • That you will be completely covered on the areas of the body that are not being worked on.  We are careful and thoughtful not to flash the private zones when unwrapping the next body part!
  • Depending on what type of massage you’re receiving, your Massage Therapist will rub, rock, hold, knead, stretch and rotate most of the body to give variation and therapeutic attention to certain areas of the body.  Therefore, we use all parts of our bodies in order to achieve that.  I’ve gotten on top of the table, used my legs, elbows, whatever to make you comfortable and me not strain myself in the process.
  • Expect the table to be warmed if cold outside, light music to be played and essential oils to be used.  If any or all of these bother you or inhibit you to relax, then speak up in the beginning of your session.
  • Expect the Massage Therapist to have their hands off for very brief periods of time.  This is so we reach for more oil, cream, essential oil, or to get ourselves into a comfortable position.  Don’t worry, we didn’t leave the room.
  • Expect your Therapist to be considerate and ask you questions up front… for them not to engage in conversation during the treatment, for them to attend to the specific parts you requested extra special attention on, or obey any wishes or restrictions you have.
  • Expect that your massage time will be kept according to the time slot scheduled.  Therapists have other clients waiting and although we are giving our 110% to you at the time… unfortunately when your time is up, we ask that you do not fall back asleep on the table.  Keeping in mind, if you are late, the time is usually taken off your hour to keep other clients on schedule.

Hopefully these pointers will help you relax more during your next massage and trust that professional massage places are just that… professional.  If you have any gut feeling that makes you think twice about the “What to expect” areas in your next massage… maybe that is sign that this particular therapist is not the one for you.

If you are new to massage/body-work or want to try something different, research it.  Know the facts and benefits of each massage and what is expected because it may not be the right choice for you.  Don’t laugh, but I once had a client who requested a “Sensory Journey” Massage that explained essential oils were used in the write up about it and when she got into the room, notified me that she was allergic to most essential oils.  Hmph.  Most are  not familiar with different massage modalities and often think the infamous Swedish Massage is the only one out there.  Massage and Body-Work have come a long way since then.   Just to name a few…

  • Swedish,
  • Deep Tissue,
  • Rolfing
  • Shiatsu Acupressure
  • Thai
  • Reiki
  • Hot Stone and so on

Ahhhhhh, you have no idea how good this feels after so many years of keeping quiet!  This is a good thing, right?  Informative, yes?

If you have any massage stories, be it giver or receiver, I’d love to hear it.  Till then, sit back, relax and let loose!