It’s been eons since I last attempted my favorite Blogoncert with lyrical words to match my renditions of life, family, work and do I dare mention teen girls? So forgive me if my rant seems a little like a rage…
As a owner and creator of The Gift Series by RaeCole™, it’s a no wonder why I am frequently inundated with parents, customers and the occasional woman at the salon who reveals way too much information on personal facets of her teen daughters life, stressing and blaming her misery on hormones.
If you’re a parent like me who believes in Positive Parenting, then you are also a parent who is probably overwhelmed with what you do on regular basis that will no doubt impact the life of your kids in a positive way. I can only speak for myself with girls at the awkward ages of 11 and 13. Ages that proudly project the blossoms of womanhood and surges of hormones on daily basis.
With all the hype on New Age waves of Positive Parenting, comes a major guffaw in the system, and that is Parents who are Positive to begin with. What? But of course surely, a parent teaching positive behavior in their children would by far be role modeling such attitudes themselves, right?
Mmmm, not so much.
This is real easy to remember people so pay close attention! Can you say ROLE MODEL? Can you act like a ROLE MODEL? Sounds childish… maybe, but role modeling is keeeeeey! Why is it I continue to run into moms who say one thing to their child, but turn around and do the opposite. Let me give you an example, going back to my WomanWhoGivesTooMuchInformationOnOverload in the salon: Mother and Daughter getting their hair done at a local salon. Daughter rants over the stringiness of her hair to the stylist, sits in the chair with shoulders rounding into the letter “C”. She continues to berate the thighs she’s inherited by her Mother’s gene pool and how she wants thicker, longer hair to draw attention away from the natural curves puberty has given her. (okay I added that last bit of puberty, but it’s true!) The stylist and the girls mom then begin to politely tell her how crazy she is like any adult would. The Mom’s voice raises and insists her daughter shouldn’t talk like that about herself… how beautiful… how to be happy with what God gave her…. blah, blah, blah, BLAH!….. she should’ve stopped right there. Unfortunately, nothing could keep her rattling mouth from spilling ajar again, as she turned the attention towards herself, only to belittle what has come over her body after having two kids, breastfeeding, not exercising anymore and blah, blah again.
I don’t get it. Saying something positive and encouraging to your child is just part of the step. That’s the EASY part if anything. Hell, there’s lots more to it and unfortunately, the change has to come with YOU! Us as parents. We the village raising the new born crops.
Now you wanna talk body image? I agree, I agree, I TOTALLY agree… media plays a HUGE part on the mindset of girls, totally screwing with their egos, metamorphosing their views in the mirror, but enough of the blame game. I don’t think Media is going to be hiring size 8 models anytime soon and now that computer enhancement is at its prime, Airbrushing won’t be going extinct in this lifetime.
SO… what do we do? We change the perception starting at home. Oprah says we can’t blame the way our lives turn out by blaming what happened in our past… just like you can’t expect us to blame Media for the purging child in the high school bathroom either. Blame means not taking responsibility. You can only curb the magazines and tv shows that your child watches in the home, but is it realistic to shelter our children throughout their adolescence, only to have it all highlighted to them like a neon sign by time they reach college?
How many of you struggle with finding this balance at home?