It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged, written, expressed my inner… I don’t know what, especially after my social media meltdown. You know, the meltdown I mentioned in my last video blog, but I never went into why and what happened. Not sure if I still wanna go there. Lemme just blog away and see what happens. I’ll try to stay focused even though my 10 year old continues to keep interrupting me every 10 seconds (literally) recapping her absolute faaaavorite book of the week. I may sound selfish, but this book worm has a faaaaavorite book of the week, every week and she will tell you all about it. Word for word.
The whole reason I started this blog is because I continue to have these life lessons, as many of us do have, except that having this entrepreneurial business has made my lessons come a little too frequently, like the days of Pitocin feeding through my veins forcing labor pains to come all to quickly, fiercely and no time to breath. These “labor pains” started last Friday as I was blogging, networking and creatively planning my next course of action, when suddenly a panic shot through my body, like volts of contractions and everything came to a halt. I had no breath in me to breathe, yet I was convulsing and hyperventilating all at the same time. I had no idea what was going on, I just knew I had to stop… everything. Speaking of stop… here my daughter is again….. As I mentioned in my last blog, it was like a scene from “When Harry Met Sally” and Sally sits on the bed hysterical in tears, shoulders convulsing up and down, all because she will turn 40 someday. Although this had nothing to do with age, it did have to do with my life. On one hand I am extremely grateful for having international access through amazing networking sites, but on the other hand, how do you keep up? Really people, how do you keep up? Are we really designed to sit at the computer all day, ass spreading beyond our means, to know all the latest and greatest five seconds after it happens? The business, the personal, the media, the research, the articles, the interviews, the society, the internet, the sales, the comments, the weather…. I can go on and on. Imagine your computer screen (and I’m showing my age here) like old Wella shampoo commercials, “…and they tell two friends… and so on… and so on… and so on….” until the entire TV screen is loaded with icons of Wella girls! I didn’t even mention all the emails in between! AND, she’ back….
Some of you are probably laughing at this and you know who you are. The ones that do it, everyday. The ones that can handle it. The ones that… that… love it. Ugh! Like I said… HOW do you do it? Back again… wait, is my daughter coming faster like these contractions? Can she possibly know we’re talking full strength Pitocin here???
The crash of my hormonal surge, led me to a limp pile of sniffles on hubby’s shoulders. Ironically, he gave me a dose of my own medicine. He basically recited all the words of wisdom, all the… wait my daughter’s here again…. Nothing like patience of a mother, huh? Patience, nothing… I’m sending her upstairs. She needs a shower anyway….. Damn! She had a shower, now what?
Hubby gave it to me, boy did he let me have it. Keep your heads clean now. As I said, he doused me with my own medicine that left me choking in the distinct taste of reality. It didn’t hit me until after a whole night, after teaching a mindful yoga class the next day, after some strong Margarita’s and after making a silly toilet paper video with good friends, did the medicine finally sink in. An antidote that allowed me to see I was yearning to be the best (again), I was holding on to expectations and worse… I was attaching to my determined outcome like white on rice. Not good. This medicinal remedy was just the trick to allow me to see more crystal, my brainwaves to reset and my forecasted expectations to slide easily off my shoulders. Sometimes a good cry can be the “Chicken Soup for the Soul”.
I don’t hate you Social Networking and I hold no grudges against the invisible computer upsurges that leaked out of my terminal and into my nervous system. I needed the reminder. If anything, I have learned a ton from online networking. I’ve connected with wonderful, like minded people and I will continue to keep in touch with you like a good ol’ pen pal of a friend. Only this time our relationship is on my terms. “I Marianne, do solemenly swear, to use and abuse you on my terms, not yours. I will continue to be only the best I can be and expect nothing from you. I know that by doing so, I can only evolve and become more true to myself and hold happiness in what I do. I take this obligation freely without any mental reservations of the entreprenuralship in which I am about to enter, so help me God.” ….. Sheee’s BAaack!