The In Between…

As one who hurried much of her life, my goal has been to enjoy the many baby steps it takes to reach such goals. Multitasking had once been the new “strength” that everyone needed in order to get ahead in life. I can only speak my experience as a mom of two….. if you weren’t doing the dishes, folding laundry, making lunches, scheduling appointments on the phone, stopping a fight over the same Barbie or giving not so quality time with your kids all at the same time… something was wrong with you. You weren’t the typical “superwoman” or “supermom” that was a much acclaimed status as a new mother.

Practicing yoga was my much needed education in body awareness among many other things, but it taught me to enjoy the journey or steps it took to get from one place to another. An important basic step when practicing postures. You simply cannot get from point A to point B without being at point A first. Makes sense. But I quickly learned that what was taught in the yoga room can be incorporated into my daily life. I suddenly would notice how fast I walked or better yet my stride would become long strides, because not only did I want to get to where I was going faster, but God forbid I wasted more steps then I would need to get to my final destination! I’m serious! I chewed fast, ate fast, drove fast, washed dishes fast…. all so I could say that I was done. I did it. Waving my hand in the air, “Yes everybody, it was me that finished all my chores by 10am, I did that, yes, I am amazing…. thank you, thank you very much. Did I tell you I worked out too? Oh yes, but please continue doing all of your chores, so that I can sit and ponder my amazingness. Really…. it was nothing at all.” Why? Why would I put myself through all the stress of getting things done and getting things done way earlier than needed when I wasn’t enjoying any minute of it. Soon early wasn’t early enough and the stress continued all according to my own schedule that I made up. I mean I didn’t work for anyone but me. No one was expecting me to be wonderwoman. These were all unneccessary expectations I placed on myself and it was killing me. My idea? “Marianne please step away from the boundries that you’ve once placed on yourself and come to the other side. Step away from the boundry.” Woah, watch out people, Mare’s goin’ craaazy! I know, sounds very silly, but this was uncharted territory for me and it was not my norm. I was used to schedules remember and now I was unleashing it all. To put it all into perspective, I decided to do everything in slow motion. Yes, s l o wwwww motion. And when doing things in slow mo, I began noticing all that was around me. I noticed colors and textures …. white fluffy clouds contrasted by the bluest of skies…… the sound of baby birds crying for mom to bring early morning worms to their eager beaks…. the smell of my granny smith apple kitchen soap and the feel of warm soap suds on my hands…. and I quickly fell in love with the journey. How could I miss such a beautiful travel from once place to the other and I didn’t even have to leave my house? I couldn’t believe all that I had missed and it wasn’t just my environment around me, but my kids, my family and friends. With my girls growing up so incredibly quickly, there were many moments where I recall a blur. Times with friends forgotten, names of people forgotten, all because I was on fast forward with no rewind button to refresh my memory. With my batteries recharged, I felt more alive like the energizer bunny, only this time I was enjoying my ride at a mindful pace. Not so much in slow mo now, but a normal pace where I can enjoy someones company, actually listen to what they have to say and realizing that my engagment in life… my slowing down, has only given me more time.

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