Finding SOULstice…

A blurb I recently posted on Facebook  “Oh Autumn how I love the beautiful colors that you adorn on each tree this time of year, but why must you cry so many of them for me to rake?  I have blisters that are now adorning the crevices between my thumbs and index finger and now I’m the one crying tears of pain!” inspired a series of thoughts this past weekend as I feverishly recruited my entire family for a day of yard cleanup.  Not the most famous mom in the eyes of my girls after announcing their chore line-up on a beautiful sunny Sunday morning, but alas I got my crew to help, hubby included to master one of Autumn’s biggest labors… leaves.

Autumn is my most favorite time of year.  I am forever telling everyone how I feel as if my body comes out of a coma… whereas autumn is about getting nestled in for a deep winters sleep ahead, I come alive as the morning air is crisp, colors so rich, warm and inviting, smells of cinnamon and nutmeg and just when you think it’s a little too cold for your britches, the sun rises full mast and forces you to look up, close your eyes and let it’s richest in Vitamin D sink into your soul.

This particular Sunday was one of those glistening, sunny mornings and after 16oz of Joe pumped through my veins, hair tied up in a treetop above my head, gloves and a good old fashioned rake, I was ready to go.  As Sorceress in Command it is only expected that I lead the crew first… after all you don’t really think my team would get a head start without me, do you?  No, no my team prefers to stand on the side-lines, getting the last re-runs of “Wizards of Waverly Place” in and need to be announced via loudspeaker, that I am serious about the much needed “family” help outside of the Kingdom.

It wasn’t long before the spellbound Vitamin D unconsciously snuck into the veins of my offspring as their celestial bodies begun to dance with rakes and garbage bags performing their own magical spell as they swirled a sea of leaves into a big pile of childhood memories where they so eagerly needed, wanted to jump!  Looking at me as if to ask my permission and daring to jump all at the same time, I did my best “I Dream of Jeanie” wink with a nod and the two flying girls  landed in a mass of silliness.  A blast of memories flooded deep into the marrows of my body and all felt sweet.  I could tell once my Charmers went back to work and hubby followed suit behind, that although we choose to rake leaves the old fashioned way, a strong mix of work ethic, pride and togetherness overwhelmed all of us.  There was no complaining, no stops of rest, no desires from my descendants to be anywhere else but here in our own Magical Kingdom.

I remember when my oldest started wondering over to the other side of the yard to make more piles and when I directed her stay on the same side as us, she frumped an angry look as if to say “Hey, I’m independent, I’m good at making my own piles, I can start another area and be done with it.”  Without missing the beat of lesson opportunity, I explained how if we stick together as a team, all working toward one goal, we will work faster, get more accomplished and look back on our vast impact with pride.  Not quite sure what I was talking about she reluctantly agreed and we worked non-stop to get the largest, most impactful part of the property done, and when we were 95% there, we stopped and looked at our efforts, now seeing a sea that resembled a small pile shag carpet of green and the delight in all of our eyes.  Little one kept running into the street to take in the majestic views and running back to report “Mommy we have the nicest yard this year!  It’s so beautiful!”  It’s beautiful my dear little one because it was work that you did, we did together.  You’re feeling self-satisfaction.  “Self-satisfaction?  What’s that?”  It’s the feeling you have now.  A feeling from accomplishing something from start to finish, no matter how rough it seemed in the beginning.  A sense of pride that you achieved this goal and you didn’t even have the expectation that it was there. “Oh, I like self- satisfaction!”

Only wanting to master the front, we seamlessly made our way to the back and my girls eventually made there way into something they haven’t done in a long time together.  They played.  Sounds silly for some, but my now 10 and a half and 12 and a half year old girls have been very busy this year with new schools, new friends and new found independence, that the take-for-granted days when they used to play endlessly together, has become unimportant to them.  A refresher course was all that was needed to get these smiley girls to do what came natural to them.  I shooed them away to continue playing as Hubby and I tended to the last of the leaves and while gathering my last pile, and eventually making my way to put our deck furniture to sleep for the winter, I realized how much this time of year really is all about  gathering.  I could feel a sense of warmth in my heart that symbolically came from just a pile of gathered leaves, soon to be decomposed to turn into a nutrient base, homeopathic to Mother Nature, as our family and dogs even, gathered to what seemed  also a natural source derived from nature, for us to transcend back into the meaning of Family.

Purity in a Box…

Eagerly unwrapping ribbons of patterned crunchy paper to unveil a tiny box that she suspiciously springs open, only to find a sparkling silver band ring staring back, she can’t help but wonder what occasion this gift may be for.  Her questioning eyes glance up to find her parents as she slides and wiggles her new addition onto her ring finger to find its perfect place nestled beyond her knuckles.  Gazing back at this silver loop encircled around her finger, she notices a small inscription in which she rolls her finger from side to side to read: “True Love Awaits”.  This ring known as a Purity Ring, is a ring given by a parent or parents to their daughter with a trust to remain abstinent and withhold from any sexual acts with boys.  Sort of a “love contract” between parent and child that says “Hey, it is obvious you are getting older, your body is changing and the boys that are friends now, may soon feel the urge to take things a little more seriously.”  “Whattya say we make a contract now and use this ring as a reminder, that you are loved and your body is sacred space and off limits to any boys?”

PURE.  “To be clean, uncontaminated, immaculate, natural and wholesome.” Words a parent would only hope to describe for their teen daughters, right?

I love the idea of the Purity Ring, but unfortunately, the ring of hope is getting toxic feedback from the teens that don’t condone it.  For obvious reasons these such teens that turn against the sacred space of Self, are probably the ones our kids should be leary of, but alas these kids are all bundled together in one school or sport with each of there unique diversities publicized.  Diversity not being a bad thing, but an obvious one.  It’s unfortunate for the kid who’s parents lovingly pondered over and picked the right timing to take preventive measures for there adolescent, is getting slack from friends from the one gift she probably cherishes most.

Until recently, The Red Goddess Celebration Box™ was a keepsake gift to be passed down to our daughters like a Modern Day Hope Chest…a conversation starter where words may fumble as communication gets strained… a gift for her first period or maybe even…. a Purity Box?  I’ve had numerous happy customers who continue to make light of new creative uses for this wonderful treasure, but I never thought of it as a Purity Box, but it makes perfect sense.  While at a recent Expo, I had an older Woman approach me to learn more about the “Box”.  She asked questions like what is in it?  What is it used for and when would I give it?  As she continued to chat and read the slew of info. I had, it seemed as if her wheels were turning.  She explained how she just recently saw her Granddaughter and was surprised, to say the least… how much change was overcoming her.  She looked “different”… almost too mature for her age, she talked “different” and the very thought of her seasoned Granddaughter making decisions that she would regret in the future alarmed her.  She was looking into Purity Rings, but thought her “too cool” Grandspawn may shun upon a gift that would “out” her of this private contract.  She bought The Red Goddess Celebration Box™ and decided when the timing was right, she would spend that much needed private quality time with her and use this Purity Box as the perfect segue into what being Pure is all about.  What made more sense was that even though this Box couldn’t be worn on her finger to remind her and those toxic so called “friends”, the keepsake would stay just as sacred in her private space as teens spend much time in their cave-rooms…. her reminder would always be present.  Whenever she would question herself, the box would have those special hand picked treasures to reassure her of the love that comes from within.

So there you have it… yet another use for The Red Goddess Celebration Box™.  A sign of Purity that comes Wholesome in a Box.  Not sure I know of another gift that has so many uses!

If you have another idea of the “Box” or a story on how you instilled Purity in your daughter, please share with us Moms!

Massage Etiquette 101…

As post Massage Therapist and Shiatsu Practitioner, I have waited YEARS to write a simple “How to Receive a Massage” book or how about “How to Receive a Massage for Dummies!”

You may laugh, but this is serious.  Seeing and touching many bodies over the years surprises me till this day how many people really and truly do not know how to receive a massage…so if you currently are a body-worker and in the field… you can thank me for sharing this bit of information that you may even want to refer to your clients who need the refresher.  Let me be the bad guy who gives it to them straight.  Those of you who are simply receivers… pull up a chair, get comfy… I may just be talking about YOU!

This is not to bash the innocent client, but more of …shall we say… Massage Etiquette for the client who really does not know what to expect.

Let me just say this first – there are many of you out there that would love a good massage on a daily basis.  I tend to be one of those “touch me, rub me junkies’ who falls into a vast relaxation as soon as someone lays there hands on me.  But for many this is quite the invasive approach that can be very unsettling and nerve racking to be touched in the slightest of ways.  If you are one of those people, maybe massage is not the answer for you.  You’re better off starting slowly with say a pedicure foot massage, manicure hand massage or chair massage with clothes on to try on for size.

It often happens in this business that people give gift certificates of massage to someone who has never experienced one before and I can out rightly say… this may be the best gift for you, but for them?  Not.  Because you are putting them in a very awkward position, not to mention awkward because their clothes are off AND not to mention a rather pricey gift to say the least that makes them feel guilty enough to just suck it up and go.

As Holidays approach, know the person you are giving this massage gift certificate to and ask yourself… is this what I want or what they want?

Here we go…

When the massage therapist walks you to the room where bodywork will take place, it is here that conversation begins and ENDS.  It is here that you are clear what kind of massage you are getting, which direction you should be facing (face-up or face-down), where you mention your aches, pains, injuries, that have you… if you have any allergies AND if there is a specific part of the body that you do NOT want touched, as well as the pressure (hard or soft) that you like.  Just get it all out in the open so the air is clear.  I know many clients need tissues around because their nose runs or their feet tickle or they have an injury that shouldn’t be touched or if they are pregnant.  You must let the therapist know up front.

Alas, the therapist leaves… in hopes they are washing their hands before they touch you!  In this ample time, you get undressed leaving clothes either on a hook or chair and you slide UNDER the covers in which ever direction they tell you.  If you forget… don’t worry it’s easy to tell.  If the round doughnut hole thingy at the top of the bed is present, they want you face down with your face in the hole.  If not, lie face up.

Underwear on or Underwear off? Let’s just get right to the point, shall we?  Again for the person who does not receive regularly, this is a huge question for both men and women.  The answer.  Doesn’t matter.  Either way works.  We won’t think you’re prude if you leave them on and we won’t think you’re racy if you don’t.  I will tell you this, though… chances are if underwear is off, there’s a good chance that it’s an invitation to have your bum rubbed.  Let’s just be clear here, unless told upfront, the only areas off limits are the private ones, the rest is up for grabs… well… you know what I mean… it’s up for massage.  That means the entire back, shoulders, sides of torso, bum, legs, arms, feet, chest, fingers, neck, face, ears and even scalp!  Did I miss anything?  Now I know what you’re thinking… I mentioned bum and that’s supposed to be considered the “private zone”.  Private as it may be, this area is often touched with the blanket or sheets on and usually the partial cheek is rubbed skin to skin.  Might I add… this feels really GOOD!  The bum hold LOTS of tension and can effect all the muscles in the low back, so if you’re complaining your low back hurts… hint, hint.. this just may be where your tension lies!  Oh and ladies… you gotta remove the bra too!  I tried to accommodate a client once and let’s just say she eventually gave in and broke free so that she was able to enjoy it more!

With all this chatter about underwear and private parts… let it be known that this is a very respectable business and therapist take great pride in their sheet/blanket maneuvering techniques so that your body will never fully be exposed with private parts getting drafty.  That being said…. let’s move on to the DO’s and DONT’s of massage…

DON’T MOVE- Your job as the “receiver” is to do just that… RECEIVE!  Your job is to lie there and do absolutely nothing.  That means we do not need you to pick your arms and legs up to move them unless told to turn over.  We do not need you to move your head from side to side.  We do not need you to give us each individual finger when your hands are being massaged.  Please don’t support your legs and arms causing more tension then necessary.  We like you to be limp, dead body weight… just receive.

DON‘T TALK - I’m not being literal here.  You can definitely speak up if something bothers you, you need to shift, more pressure, less pressure, but please don’t bring up your “to-do” list of responsibilities during the massage…  How it pains you to see your in-laws over the Holidays or the great sale at Macy’s over the weekend.  This is the quiet zone and if you think your massage therapist is just being rude for not conversing back to you – think again.  We are trained to let you fully receive in the best possible way and most comfortable way we know how.  If you as the client are talking, that is telling us you are not relaxed, and if you are not relaxed, then we are not doing our job properly.  Shhhh….

DO BE CLEAN – Please, please come to a massage clean.  That doesn’t mean you have to shower before you come, but there are many people that find coming straight from the gym after a sweaty workout to hop on the table for a massage sounds great, and it may feel great, but trust me it doesn’t smell great.  This doesn’t happen often, but it has happened.

DO CLOSE YOUR EYES - There’s nothing worse than trying to relax someone who is staring back at you.  It’s uncomfortable for the giver and the receiver.  The point of massage is to relax and the therapeutic benefits that come from a relaxed body are endless.  Keeping the eyes open is equivalent to talking.  It just means you are not relaxed and uncomfortable.  Trust.  Close your eyes… let loose and give your body a chance to feel.  If you fall asleep… that’s okay.  The perfect zone is that “in between” state of mind or “Twilight” sleep where you can feel the therapist working around you, but it almost feels as if their energy is everywhere and you zone in and out of sleep.  If you snore… don’t worry, we’re used it.   If it is still too uncomfortable to close your eyes… ask the therapist to place a light towel or lavender pillow over your eyes to help you relax.

In addition to staring… please don’t think your therapist is staring at you, judging you or picking you apart.  It is just the opposite!  Again, we are trained to give a supportive and nurturing touch to all that come.  Generally the type of person who goes into any type of body-work is usually of the nurturing kind.  One who wants to give, wants to relax you and make you feel comfortable.  We know that energy can be relayed in all forms, therefore if we are judging you, we know that energy would be picked up in the way our hands feel toward you.  It is not the type of atmosphere we would like to condone in our room, so rest assured that all is professional in such a sacred space.

DO BE GRATEFUL – it one thing to be grateful if the massage was out right awful, but chances are there are a lot of good body-workers out there that give much energy into every massage, day in and day out.  We are trained to do several bodies in a row with no breaks.  We give every massage our all and put much pressure and emphasis on ourselves to relax a client, aid in someones injury or even try to make those chronic aches and pains of yours go away.  There is nothing worse than giving 110% to a client, who you know is completely relaxed and just gets up and walks out without saying a word.

What to expect…

• Expect that most of your body is going to be touched in some fashion excluding the private zones or areas that you already pre-requested are off limits.
• That you will be completely covered on the areas of the body that are not being worked on.  We are careful and thoughtful not to flash the private zones when unwrapping the next body part!
• Depending on what type of massage you’re receiving, your Massage Therapist will rub, rock, hold, knead, stretch and rotate most of the body to give variation and therapeutic attention to certain areas of the body.  Therefore, we use all parts of our bodies in order to achieve that.  I’ve gotten on top of the table, used my legs, elbows, whatever to make you comfortable and me not strain myself in the process.
• Expect the table to be warmed if cold outside, light music to be played and essential oils to be used.  If any or all of these bother you or inhibit you to relax, then speak up in the beginning of your session.
• Expect the Massage Therapist to have their hands off for very brief periods of time.  This is so we reach for more oil, cream, essential oil, or to get ourselves into a comfortable position.  Don’t worry, we didn’t leave the room.
• Expect your Therapist to be considerate and ask you questions up front… for them not to engage in conversation during the treatment, for them to attend to the specific parts you requested extra special attention on, or obey any wishes or restrictions you have.
• Expect that your massage time will be kept according to the time slot scheduled.  Therapists have other clients waiting and although we are giving our 110% to you at the time… unfortunately when your time is up, we ask that you do not fall back asleep on the table.  Keeping in mind, if you are late, the time is usually taken off your hour to keep other clients on schedule.

Hopefully these pointers will help you relax more during your next massage and trust that professional massage places are just that… professional.  If you have any gut feeling that makes you think twice about the “What to expect” areas in your next massage… maybe that is sign that this particular therapist is not the one for you.

If you are new to massage/body-work or want to try something different, research it.  Know the facts and benefits of each massage and what is expected because it may not be the right choice for you.  Don’t laugh, but I once had a client who requested a “Sensory Journey” Massage that explained essential oils were used in the write up about it and when she got into the room, notified me that she was allergic to most essential oils.  Hmph.  Most are  not familiar with different massage modalities and often think the infamous Swedish Massage is the only one out there.  Massage and Body-Work have come a long way since then.   Just to name a few…

• Swedish,
• Deep Tissue,
• Rolfing
• Shiatsu Acupressure
• Thai
• Reiki
• Hot Stone and so on

Ahhhhhh, you have no idea how good this feels after so many years of keeping quiet!  This is a good thing, right?  Informative, yes?

If you have any massage stories, be it giver or receiver, I’d love to hear it.  Till then, sit back, relax and let loose!